So Much Hate For the Ones We Love
by vanderlylecrybabygeek
Summary: Claudia and Pete talk after Steve's death and Pete telling her to "please get back to the car."


My first Warehouse 13 fic based on a prompt my friend sent me. :)

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><p>"<em>Please get back to the car."<em>

Those words rang in Claudia's ears every night as she tried to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was the terror on Pete's face as he warned her not to go up the stairs. Not to go into that room. Not to go see the lifeless body of her best friend. _Damnit. _Why didn't she just go back to the car? The last image of Steve she saw should not have been him dead and sprawled across a chair.

Every night since Steve's death, she cried herself to sleep. Claudia had been so sure that she could bring him back, taking the metronome to aid her in restoring his life. Everything else was as it was – the warehouse had been saved, therefore bringing Mrs. Frederic back, and HG had been brought back so Myka was constantly happy. There were times Claudia passed Myka, and she offered her a sympathetic smile, but no one understood Claudia's pain. Artie tried to be understanding and be the father that he was to her, but Artie was still Artie and wasn't the most social person in the world. She was broken beyond repair. The only person she seemed to find comfort in was HG, in that she knew what it was like to lose someone you loved and still dealt with daily pangs of grief. She supposed she should be used to it by now, though, because she lost everything good that came into her life.

The one person Claudia avoided was Pete. She told herself that she was mad at him for not being more insistent that she go to the car, but really she was angry with herself for defying him. Claudia knew that he was only trying to protect her, but it was easier to place the blame on him rather than hate herself. She just wished the image of Steve – piercing blue eyes still open and unblinking, skin so white and cold – would stop haunting her nightmares. She didn't want to talk to Pete. She didn't want to face him. If he started to talk to her, she brushed past him leaving him speechless.

One night, there was a knock on Claudia's door. "Go away," she croaked, wiping the tears from her face.

"If you think you're doing a good job concealing your crying every night, you're wrong, Claud."

"Go away, Pete."

"I'm coming in," he told her, and he opened the door to see her curled up in bed with a pile of tissues residing at her left side. "Why are you ignoring me? What did I do to you? I don't get it. I know I'm not the brightest tool in the box…or whatever that saying is…but what have I done to you?"

Claudia sighed and sat up, sniffling as she avoided eye contact. "I'm not mad at you," she finally said. "I'm mad at myself. You told me to go to the car, and I didn't because I'm an idiot, and now the last image I'll ever have of Jinksy is…" She could feel her throat closing up. "I was supposed to save him, Pete! The metronome was supposed to work! Why didn't it work? Why did the warehouse come back and HG came back and Mrs. F came back, but I can't have Jinksy back? How is that fair? Why did your mother let him go out on that mission? It's all her fault, and…I…I…" Claudia fell into Pete's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. "He was trying to protect me," she whispered, "and he died. I didn't know I'd need to protect him."

"Shh," Pete whispered, pulling Claudia into his embrace and rubbing her back lightly. "There was nothing you could do. Steve was a great guy, and he would have done anything for you. You know that, Claud."

"The metronome was supposed to bring him back. He was supposed to come back. I wasn't supposed to be alone again. Everyone leaves."

Pete's grip on Claudia tightened. "I know that feeling. It'll get better, kid. Maybe not now, but it'll get better. And eventually, it won't feel like someone's stabbing you in the chest every time you think about Steve."

"I want it to get better now," Claudia moaned, looking up at Pete through red, puffy eyes. "I'm tired of crying every night, but I can't stop. At least with Joshua, I knew I could get him back…Jinksy is a lost cause. He's…he's gone."

"He wouldn't want you to be like this. Do you think he'd want you lying around in bed moping every night?"

Claudia shook her head and finally pulled away from Pete. "No. He'd probably laugh at me if he knew I was doing this." She wiped her tears. "He'd want me to live my life because his sister couldn't. And then he'd probably tell me that I look like a wreck right now because my outfit isn't even close to matching because he did have that ridiculously sassy gay side of him that only I got to see. Sassier than Paquito at the institution, if you'd believe it." A grin slowly spread across Claudia's face as she let out a little laugh.

Pete couldn't help but smile at the sight of a laughing Claudia, something he hadn't seen in so long. "Now that you're feeling a little better, why don't you try to go to sleep?"

Claudia nodded, launching herself into Pete's arms. "Thanks, Pete. You're a good friend."

He smiled and patted her knee gently before getting up. "It'll get better, kiddo. I promise."

"I hope so."

Pete started out of her room, closing the door behind him, and headed down the hallway before turning back around. "Claud?" he said gently, opening the door just enough for him to stick his head in. "Keep the faith."


End file.
